They hate our freedom.

They hate our diversity.

They hate our humor.

They even hate our mouse.

 So, sit back and enjoy the show.

Let's do it for them.

The slide show will take a few minutes to load 

so you may want to scroll down and

 read the articles at the bottom of the page. 

They're very funny.

Take all American women who are within five years of menopause 

-train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, 

moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna -- 

drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan,

 and let us do what comes naturally.

Think about it. 

Our anger quotient alone, 

even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, 

is formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble.

We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die 

to protect them and their future. 

We'd like to get away from our husbands, 

if they haven't left already. 

And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a good man 

with whom to share life is about as likely 

as being struck by lightning. 

We have nothing to lose.

We've survived the water diet, 

the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, 

and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America 

and never lost a pound. 

We can easily survive months 

in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no food at all!

We've spent years tracking down our husbands or Lovers in bars, 

hardware stores, or sporting events...

finding Bin Laden in some cave will be no problem.

Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? 

Oh, please ... we've planned the seating Arrangements for in-laws 

and extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years...

we understand tribal warfare.

Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know

 every trick there is for how they hide, launder, 

or cover up bank accounts and money sources. 

We know how to find that money and we know how to seize it ... 

with or without the government's help!

Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. 

Imagine their terror as we crawl like ants 

with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain.

I'm going to write my Congresswoman. 

You should, too!

Age 3: She looks at herself and sees a Queen.

Age 8: She looks at herself and sees Cinderella.

Age 15: She looks at herself and sees an Ugly Sister (Mum I can't go to
school looking like this!)

Age 20: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too
tall, too straight/too curly"- but decides she's going out anyway.

Age 30: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too
tall, too straight/too curly" - but decides she doesn't have time to fix
it, so she's going out anyway.

Age 40: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too
tall, too straight/too curly" - but say, "At least, I am "clean" and goes
out anyway.

Age 50: She looks at herself and sees "I am" and goes wherever she wants to
go.

Age 60: She looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who
can't even see themselves in the mirror anymore. Goes out and conquers the
world. 

Age 70: She looks at herself & sees wisdom, laughter and ability,
goes out and enjoys life.

Age 80: Doesn't bother to look. Just puts on a purple hat and goes out to
have fun with the world.

 Maybe we
should all grab that purple hat earlier.



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